Every night
My mother dropped to her knees in submission
Praying to a Father who art in heaven
But I pray to a mother
Who art in the crevices
Of the cavity’s that have come before me
Surrendering
my will to you
I pray like my mother
Not at the side of beds
To merciless men
But to you
Is who I cry to
At the foot of your alter
Elevating you out of submission
And into divinity
It’s always been you.
Inside you
And around you
When I close my eyes
I don’t clasp my hands shut
I don’t bow my head
I lift up my arms up to the heavens
Throw my head back
Elated in joy
Blissful Tears overflowing like
Abundant glasses of water
That you pass through
I always wondered what my mother prayed about… and if she ever found salvations
I hear that she has
It’s this version of me she’s been praying for
guilt consumed her
Leaving her weary, weak to her knees until she fell into submission, leaving her transgressions
Under the bed, she’d climb under covers , and dream, of protection from a reality that was never meant for me
Deeply knowing that’s theres a day, I’d be better
For her and for me
Side by side we’d pray, I’d pray for an apology and she’d pray for forgiveness,
Left to damnation,
I’d lift her out
of the hell
She’s been praying about
We’ve been doing this dance for eons
Thinking that submission, meant softness
Because life’s been so hard
So.. that’s why
Every night
My mother dropped to her knees in submission
Praying to a Father who art in heaven
But I pray to a mother
Who art in the crevices
Of the cavity’s that have come before me
Surrendering
my will to you
I pray like my mother
Not at the side of beds
To merciless men
But to you
Is who I cry to
At the foot of your alter
Elevating you out of submission
And into divinity
It’s always been you.
Inside you
And around you
When I close my eyes
I don’t clasp my hands shut
I don’t bow my head
I lift up my arms up to the heavens
Throw my head back
gleefully and delighted
As Tear drops leave trails of gratitude
Filling up glasses of water
I’d say.. my cup runneth over
As I lay it upon alters
Hoping that you pass through